How can I help aging parents decide whether to stay in their Colorado Springs home or move?

Start with your parents' goals, not the house. Unless someone holds legal authority to act for them, the decision is theirs, so your role is to help them think it through, not to decide for them. Ask questions that let them weigh whether their home can support the next chapter, what a move would make possible, and what each choice really costs. Involve the family with their permission, put the steps in writing, and expect the decision to move forward and back before it settles.

It's their decision, and that shapes everything

When an adult child calls me about a parent's home, the first thing I want to know is what the parent wants. I always want to respect the actual owner's wishes. And I can't force anybody to move.

That isn't only a matter of courtesy. The person who owns the home makes the decision about it, unless someone else has legal authority to act for them (see "Who can make the decision" below). Even a child named in a power of attorney acts for the parent: Colorado law requires that agent to follow the parent's reasonable expectations, as far as the agent knows them, and otherwise to act in the parent's best interest.

This is also the point where many families get stuck. Most older adults want to stay put: in AARP's 2024 national survey, 75% of adults 50 and older said they want to remain in their current home as they age. Yet 44% said they expect to move at some point, most often because of housing costs, maintenance, and property taxes. Your parent may hold both of those feelings at once.

If you're the parent reading this, the same thing applies in reverse. You're the decision-maker. Deciding how much to involve your children, and on what terms, is part of that decision.

Why you and your parent may see it differently

Parents and adult children often come at this from different directions, and it helps to name it:

• Your parent may be weighing independence and privacy. You may be weighing their safety. Both are legitimate, and they pull in opposite directions.
• Sometimes the children are more attached to the house. A parent may be ready to be done with the stairs and the yard, while the kids are the ones holding on to the family home and the memories in it.
• Moving can feel permanent. Fear of making the wrong decision, of losing control, or of leaving familiar routines can stop a move even when everyone agrees it makes sense.
• Some parents want to keep the house for their heirs. That's a real goal, and it deserves a real conversation, including the tax side (a CPA can help).
• Some believe staying is "free" because the mortgage is paid off. Property taxes, insurance, and upkeep still come due, and so does the time and energy it takes to manage the house. See whether to downsize or stay.

Ask questions instead of pushing an answer

The approach that works best, in my experience, is asking questions. Asking helps people process. You don't force it; you give a little at a time. People come to their own conclusions based on those questions, and a decision they reach themselves tends to hold up better than one someone made for them.

That's the idea behind the Life → Wealth → Real Estate™ method I use: life goals first, then whether the plan makes financial sense, and only then the property.

Life: what does your parent want the next chapter to look like?

• Do you want to stay in this home? What would it take to stay here well as you age?
• Is staying practical? Could you live on one level if you needed to? Who would handle the yard, the snow, and the repairs?
• If staying isn't practical, what would a move need to give you? Being closer to medical care, closer to family, or somewhere that offers more help over time?
• If more help may be needed later, what level of care makes sense now, and what might it look like in a few years? See the difference between 55+ communities, independent living, assisted living, and memory care.

Wealth: does the plan work financially?

• What does it really cost to stay: property taxes, insurance, maintenance, and help around the house? See what happens to property taxes when you downsize.
• What would selling cost, and what would the next place cost month to month? See what it costs to sell a home in Colorado Springs.
• Does either choice affect other plans, such as helping family or leaving something to heirs?

Real estate: only then, the house.

Once the goal and the numbers are clear, the property decision usually gets much simpler: stay and adapt the home, or sell and move to a place that fits the plan.

Hold on to the vision, because it will get hard

Once your parent has decided on a direction, write it down and come back to it. You're going to take a couple of steps forward and then some steps back. That's okay. This is an emotional process, which is exactly why we don't force anything.

A clear vision of the next chapter is what carries people through the hard parts: sorting a lifetime of belongings, saying goodbye to a house, and adjusting to a new place.

How involving the family works

With the owner's permission, involving the adult children is ideal. In fact, it's more than ideal. When the children know who I am and how we're navigating things, everyone stays informed and fewer surprises come up later.

It starts with the homeowner's permission and defining the boundaries that work for everybody: who is part of the conversation, what information gets shared, and who is making which decisions. From there, we break the whole process down and put it into a project management plan so that everybody stays in sync and understands what's happening. It's a true partnership. Working with multiple stakeholders is where my background as a PMP® (Project Management Professional) comes into play.

A few practical points, whether you're working with me or not:

• Ask your parent before you share their information. Their finances, health, and plans belong to them.
• If siblings live out of state, a regular video or phone call with everyone, including your parent, keeps one child from carrying it all and keeps the others from feeling left out.
• Keep one written plan with the steps, who owns each one, and the target dates, and update it as things change. See the steps to downsizing, from first decision to moving day.
• Expect some delays if the family is working through disagreements. Build them into the timeline instead of fighting them.

Who can make the decision

This part is legal, not emotional, and it's worth getting right before anyone lists a house. It's education, not legal advice; an elder law or estate attorney can tell you what applies to your family.

• While your parent can make decisions, they decide. That's true even if one of their children is named in a power of attorney.
• A power of attorney names an agent who can act for your parent within the authority the document grants. In Colorado, a power of attorney created on or after January 1, 2010, stays in effect if your parent later loses capacity, unless the document says otherwise. It's worth having the title company review the power of attorney before the home is listed. See selling a parent's house with a power of attorney.
• If there's no power of attorney and your parent can no longer make decisions, the court may need to appoint someone. A conservator manages property and finances; a guardian handles personal needs such as care and housing. In El Paso County, those cases go through the district court. See what happens when there's no power of attorney.
• A power of attorney ends when your parent dies. After that, the home is handled through the estate. See whether you have to go through probate to sell a parent's house.

If you aren't sure whether your parent has a power of attorney, or whether it covers real estate, find out now, while your parent can still sign one.

What's specific to Colorado Springs

• The Pikes Peak Area Agency on Aging is the first call for care questions. It serves adults 60 and older and their caregivers in El Paso, Park, and Teller counties, with the goal of helping older people live independently in their own homes. Its Senior Information and Assistance Center connects families with regional services.
• Free help for family caregivers. The agency's Family Caregiver Support Center helps families prepare an individualized caregiving plan, at no charge. It serves any adult caring for someone 60 or older, and any adult 60 or older who is a primary caregiver.
• More families are facing this decision. The Pikes Peak region's 60-and-older population is expected to grow 42% between 2020 and 2030, according to the Pikes Peak Area Council of Governments.
• Taxes are part of the stay-or-move math. Property taxes in El Paso County vary a lot between similar homes, and some longtime owners qualify for Colorado's senior property tax exemption. See what happens to property taxes when you downsize.

A simple way to think it through

• If your parent wants to stay and the home can support it, plan for aging in place: what needs to change in the home, who will help, and when you'll revisit the plan.
• If staying isn't practical, explore what a move would make possible: closer to medical care, closer to family, or a place with more support over time.
• If your parent isn't ready, don't push. Keep asking questions, and agree on a time to talk again.
• If your parent's health or safety is changing quickly, talk with their physician and the Pikes Peak Area Agency on Aging. That's a care decision first and a real estate decision second.
• If your parent can no longer make decisions, find out whether there's a power of attorney, and talk with an elder law attorney before any steps are taken on the house.

What could change the answer

• Your parent's health. A sudden change can compress a decision that would otherwise take months.
• Legal authority. Whether a valid power of attorney exists, and what it covers, decides who can sign.
• Finances. The cost of staying, the proceeds from a sale, and the cost of the next place can point in different directions.
• Family agreement. Siblings with different goals can slow the process. See how to choose an agent to help a parent downsize.
• How the home is owned. A trust, joint tenancy, or a beneficiary deed changes who signs and what happens later.

When to talk with a professional

An elder law or estate attorney is the right person for powers of attorney, guardianship, conservatorship, and questions about how the home is owned. A CPA can explain the tax side of selling or keeping the home. Your parent's physician and the Pikes Peak Area Agency on Aging can help with care needs and options. A real estate professional can help you understand what the home is worth, what selling would involve, and how the timing could work around your parent's next home. See who you need on your team.

Sources

• AARP, "New AARP Report: Majority of Adults 50-plus Want to Age in Place, But Policies and Communities Must Catch Up" (2024 Home and Community Preferences Survey, December 10, 2024): https://www.aarp.org/press/releases/2024-12-10-new-aarp-report-majority-adults-50-plus-age-place-policies-communities-catch-up.html
• Pikes Peak Area Council of Governments, Pikes Peak Area Agency on Aging: https://ppacg.org/pikes-peak-area-agency-on-aging/
• Pikes Peak Area Council of Governments, Senior Information and Assistance Center (regional 60-plus population growth, 2020–2030): https://ppacg.org/pikes-peak-area-agency-on-aging/senior-information-and-assistance-center/
• Pikes Peak Area Council of Governments, Family Caregiver Support Center: https://ppacg.org/pikes-peak-area-agency-on-aging/family-caregiver-support-center/
• Colorado Revised Statutes § 15-14-704, Power of attorney is durable (Uniform Power of Attorney Act): https://colorado.public.law/statutes/crs_15-14-704
• Colorado Revised Statutes § 15-14-714, Agent's duties (Uniform Power of Attorney Act): https://colorado.public.law/statutes/crs_15-14-714