How do I choose an agent to help a parent downsize or sell a longtime family home?
Short answer: Look for an agent who treats your parent, the homeowner, as the decision-maker, communicates openly with the whole family, and works at a pace that fits. The right agent puts the move into a clear written plan everyone can see, coordinates with professionals such as senior move managers, estate attorneys, and CPAs, and knows contract options that can help your parent move only once. The SRES® (Seniors Real Estate Specialist®) designation shows training in working with clients over 50. Ask about experience, too.
The homeowner stays in the driver's seat
When a parent sells a longtime home, it's the homeowner who makes the decisions. That's true even when adult children are closely involved. The exception is when a family member holds a valid power of attorney that gives them the legal authority to act on the owner's behalf.
A good agent keeps that clear from the start, and so should the family.
It works best when the homeowner is part of the conversation
In my experience, it works best when the homeowner reaches out directly. I worked with a couple in their 80s who had watched my YouTube videos on downsizing and contacted me themselves. Early on, I asked whether it would help to have their daughter listen in on our conversations. They said yes, absolutely. They wanted her to be part of it.
That made the whole process transparent. Their daughter got to know me, and together we got the home ready to sell. I put everything into a project management plan, an actual schedule of what needed to happen and when, and gave it to everyone involved so we could all work from the same plan. That helped significantly.
If you're the adult child reaching out
Sometimes an adult child is the first to call. That's fine, but the first thing a good agent should do is make sure your parent actually wants help and wants to move. No one should feel pushed out of their home. When a parent is hesitant, the situation calls for a much more delicate approach, more time, and a lot of communication.
A few things help:
- Include your parent from the first conversation, and let them decide how involved they want you to be.
- Agree on who makes which decisions, so there's no confusion later.
- Expect the timeline to follow your parent's pace, not the family's calendar.
What a good agent does differently
Communicates with everyone the homeowner wants involved. Transparency builds trust, especially when several family members are part of the conversation.
Creates a written plan. A move out of a longtime home involves many steps: sorting belongings, repairs, preparing to list, and finding the next home. A shared schedule keeps everyone working together.
Coordinates the right professionals. I work with senior move managers, estate attorneys, CPAs, and 55+ community sales offices, so each part of the move has the right help.
Knows contract options that reduce stress. Terms like post-closing occupancy, which lets the seller stay in the home for a period after closing, and contingent or bridge-timed purchases can help your parent move only once instead of twice.
What the SRES® designation means
The Seniors Real Estate Specialist® (SRES®) designation from the National Association of REALTORS® focuses on understanding and serving clients 50 and older. The coursework covers housing options such as aging in place, active-adult communities, and assisted living, along with the tax, finance, and estate-planning topics that often come up, and how to build a network of trusted service providers.
Like any designation, it shows an agent has invested in training. Experience with actual downsizing moves, and the patience they require, shows the rest.
Questions to ask when you interview agents
- How do you work with families when the homeowner is older? Listen for respect for the homeowner's decisions.
- What does your plan for a downsizing move look like? Ask whether they put it in writing and share it.
- Which professionals do you coordinate with? Senior move managers, attorneys, CPAs, and community sales offices are common.
- How could we time the sale and the next move so my parent only moves once?
- How do you handle it when the homeowner needs more time?
Legal and financial questions to settle early
Power of attorney. If a family member will sign documents for the homeowner, the power of attorney must specifically grant that authority. Title companies typically need to review it, and a power of attorney used to sign a deed generally needs to be recorded. Have an attorney confirm the document will work for the sale well before closing.
Taxes. A longtime home may have a large gain. A CPA can explain how the federal home-sale exclusion applies and what records of past improvements may help. See who you need on your team for the questions worth asking.
How I hold myself to these standards
I hold the SRES® designation, and my background as a project management professional shapes how I organize these moves. I also cover downsizing on my YouTube channel, Life & Real Estate Without Regret. Hold me to every question on this page.
What could change the answer
If your parent's health or ability to make decisions is changing, involve an elder law or estate-planning attorney before listing. If the home is being sold after a death, the process is different, and the estate's representative, not the family as a whole, makes the decisions.
When to talk with a professional
An estate or elder law attorney can advise on powers of attorney and estate questions. A CPA can advise on taxes. A senior move manager can help with sorting and moving belongings. Your agent can coordinate all of it.
If your family is starting to think about a parent's move, I'd be glad to talk it through with you both, at whatever pace works for your parent.
Related questions
- How do I prepare a longtime family home for sale without becoming overwhelmed?
- Should I downsize my Colorado Springs home or stay where I am?
- How do I choose the best listing agent to sell my Colorado Springs home?
- Who do I need on my team when buying a home in Colorado Springs?
- How do I find the best real estate agent in Colorado Springs?
- Does it matter which brokerage or team my real estate agent works with?
About the author
Weldon Hobbs is a Colorado Springs real estate professional and co-founder of Team Hobbs Realty, affiliated with The Platinum Group, REALTORS®. He is a U.S. Air Force Academy graduate and retired Air Force officer. He holds an MBA and the PMP, Certified Financial Coach, SRES®, and MRP (Military Relocation Professional) credentials, and hosts Life & Real Estate Without Regret on YouTube.
Sources
- National Association of REALTORS®, Seniors Real Estate Specialist® (SRES®): https://www.nar.realtor/education/designations-and-certifications/seniors-real-estate-specialist-sres
- National Association of REALTORS®, SRES® Designation Course: https://learning.realtor/diweb/catalog/item?id=14281606
- Colorado Revised Statutes, Uniform Power of Attorney Act, section 15-14-701 and following: https://colorado.public.law/statutes/crs_15-14-701
- Internal Revenue Service, Publication 523, Selling Your Home: https://www.irs.gov/publications/p523